My vision on romantic relationships
As I got more mature I started to recognise that I considered my love and sensuality to be more ‘radial’ than ‘directional’. According to my experience, love and connection, just as sensuality and sexuality, is not meant to be devoted to only one person. If you choose for monogamy, you are not opening yourself to the richness and abundance of what this life has to offer you, in terms (self)exploration, excitement, wisdom, inner transformation, joy etc. In this article I will expose my vision on what I see as ‘being in integrity with the universe’, or in other words: to be 100% open to – and act upon – beings who catch your interest, in particular in terms of romance, albeit it applies to every type of relationship.
I see monogamy as an invention that has loyally served the development of society for the last 500 years. However, monogamy is not in line with our nature; it’s an artificial construct – just look to the divorce rates as a result of cheating nowadays, just look at our primates. Sensuality & sexuality draws no limits.
You probably all know the feeling that you feel closely connected to somebody, that the other makes you feel at ease, comfortable, without putting in an effort. It looks like you know that person for a while, and strangely enough, things appear to happen by themselves; your being together can be described as an effortless and harmonious dance. This is what I call ‘resonance’. I am deeply convinced of the concept of ‘love at first sight’, in fact, I think that I am able to judge with a 90% accuracy whether I am a romantic match to another being after just one wink of the eye. Over time, you come to realise that there are people who are more in resonance with you than the ones before. I call this finding a ‘higher resonance’. Ultimately, you can meet a ‘very high resonance being’ your ‘highest resonance’, albeit you will never be certain if it truly is the ‘highest’. The latter is often referred to as your soulmate of twin flame; there is much higher fine-tuned vibrational alignment than with other souls.
The universe exploring itself
If you will only remember one thing of this article, let it be this sentence: ‘‘If you stay open to meet new people romantically, you will find higher resonances waiting for you to connect to.’’ There is a free universe of beings moving in and out of each other’s resonances all of the time. If you get out of the paradigm that is created by society, you will be so much freer, you will explore time and intimacy with so more people in whatever way; it doesn’t have to be sexually or in partnership form, but you open your world to so much more richness and connection. Anything is possible. You allow yourself and your partner to be free in your resonance exploration. You allow the universe to explore itself, thereby opening up to the infinite wisdom, harmony and beauty of it, allowing you to experience reality to such an extent you couldn’t imagine it was possible on the beforehand. There is a lot to be discovered, out of free will and excitement. Of course, maintaining integrity towards any agreements you have set with your partner is highly important. Communication is key. Open relationships and polyamory are built upon trust. If there is a change of heart, you communicate that you wish for a change in the agreement. If you have an agreement in place, you don’t just move away and do whatever you want – yes, ultimately that is a given, that is your privilege – but you will feel much better on your journey. So, include all agreements you want, but include the agreement that you – if you meet a higher resonance- allow yourself to dive deep with another person, as otherwise, you are not in integrity with the universe. If you are not in integrity with other beings, meaning that you don’t allow them to explore their free will and you are not listening to your own resonance, you are not setting yourself up for expansion, bliss, joy, abundance, in the way that you desire. If you want to ascend to greater heights of purity, integrity with the universe, and self-mastery, you allow your partner to be free to spend time with other beings. I am not saying that nothing comes up emotionally – I am saying that ultimately, what you choose, is to offer that person its own freedom, knowing that they never gave it up to you anyway, it never belonged to you. That person never pertained to you, hence, there is no real relationship. Relationships are a fiction. I see everything that comes up emotionally when my partner spends time with somebody else as fuel for my own transformation.
Self-empowerment & transformation
When you feel insecure about when your partner spends time with somebody else –which can be sexual – tune in with yourself and try to entangle the root cause of the insecurity. After, bite the fucking bullet – face your deepest fears – and transcend that insecurity consequently. I know, this method is not always easy, in fact, if you would ask me five years ago to do this it would hurt me earth-shockingly, but facing my insecurities has always been my greatest source of fuel pertaining to self-development. In a broader sense, any kind of negative emotion/thought tells you something about yourself and your attitude towards life. How your system responds to whatever happens in life is a reflection of who you are at that moment. If you use this kind of information wisely, you will notice that day-to-day life is abundant of opportunities for self-transformation and self-liberation. If you become keen on every little vibrational ripple in the field and you capable of employing those situations in a self-empowering manner, the light is not far away. As you will keep working on yourself you naturally, even unnoticeably, gain more paradigm shifts, more expansion and more abundance. More and more, you will care less and less. When you have nearly zero insecurities, you don’t need a relationship to cover up for your insecurities, and you can truly appreciate the person for who he or she is, which is pure love in my opinion. In this case, the neediness and its related expectations and projections on your partner dissolve, which is extremely healthy and beautiful.
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession, Love is about appreciation.” -Osho
During your personal transformation, all the limiting ideas continuously start to dissolve, whether you are with a partner of without a partner. After a while you will reach a new plateau on which your outlook on life is completely different and you can respect other people’s freedom much more – you will live and ‘let live’. If you want that true intimacy with others, that can only happen if that other person is completely free in your eyes.
So, become as free as you can and allow your partner to do so as well. You want to honour the other person’s free will because you know that it is you in another form, expressing itself in the most conducive way that it can, and if it is guided to somewhere else, than you wish to honour that. That is purity and integrity. What seems the most daunting to you know will be the most liberating and effortless choice at some point. Keep in mind that whatever comes up emotionally – which is that to be transcended systematically – will bring enlightenment ultimately. Romantic relationships offer exquisite opportunities for self-transformation.
If you just live your life authentically and in integrity with the symbols/signs, you will find a life which is yours, and harmoniously, you will find someone in whose presence you will feel deeply comfortable and in peace with, and you will fall in love a natural way in which your co-existence will not become a distraction from the truth, but it heightens your possibilities of discovering the truth. You become each other’s guru.
“The beloved is not chosen, it is just recognised” – Mooji
If that recognition is there, a portal/bridge/tunnel between the beings can be opened that is massively powerful; it is literally the universe recognising itself in another. When both are resonating at that same level there is that recognition of the universe in one another – interconnected but independent complete universes in and of themselves. Then, you can relate from a true spiritual connection. If that is a match in both ways, you will have the most amazing experience humanly possible. Your own portal is always the absolute, but to be able to share that full-on with another is just WHOW – it is rare, but it certainly is possible. Your chakras will open up and start to balance themselves and besides, the heavens will start talking to you.
A few tips to meet your soulmate. Firstly, always work on your own alignment/empowerment etc. If your mind, body and soul collaborate harmoniously, you will be capable of both recognising your soulmate and being recognised by your soulmate. For the latter one, make sure that you express your authentic self all the time. To express your authentic self, you first have to know who that is, so keep working on yourself by digging deep to the bottom of your personality. Secondly, arrange your life in such a way that you can act upon meeting your soulmate by having the right relationship agreements in place and that you possess resources of all kinds to fully embrace your soulmate into your life, thereby enabling you to co-create a new chapter of life harmoniously.