Biography – Nicolai Versloot
My life was about all about victory – I can’t stand losing. Also, there was an untamable desire for unveiling ‘the unknown’. The combination of my studies Civil Engineering at the TU DELFT university, my rowing career – I was heading towards the World championships under age 23 – and my experimental behaviour led to a full pull ‘overtraining syndrome’; an injury which can best be described as a burnout for mind AND body. I hit rock bottom depression and lost my identity completely. In the process of recovery and after a series of spiritual experiences I packed my bags for a soul search journey, which in retrospect took about 4 years. On this journey, I have met amazing people who made me realise that I wasn’t the person who I was meant to be. I discovered that I didn’t do the things I really liked in life as I always got my eyes on the prices. During this period of self-inquiry, I disrooted from my environment. I came to realise that the edge between philosophy, spirituality, religion and psychology is my fetish. I found out that the more I attuned to following this passion, the more I was able to see through and eventually peel off the fake layers of my personality and the more I felt guided through life. Whereas during my period of sports I was required to ‘push’ to get things done, I felt effortlessly ‘pulled’ to results when I started doing what I truly liked, which was all about discovering the emotional and spiritual landscape I dwelled in and reporting those investigations textually/vocally/cinematically.
I still do sports – I swim– but on a less competitive level than I used to do sports. Training competitive debilitated my emotional sensitivity and my HD perception of the world around me. Moreover, I realised that it was a part of my ego that clinged to something thereby limiting my freedom. After I got the title of engineer in the summer of 2019, I experienced a series of very profound mystical/spiritual experiences in which the universe started talking to me. I had visions, I experienced downloads of oceanic depth type knowledge on karma and spiritual healing and I was overflown by periods of true unconditional love. Air became breath. These paradigm shattering experiences were guiding me to a place which I am heading towards currently. In the midst of those experiences, I chose to fully commit myself to the spiritual path.